We hear a lot about ‘living your truth’ but what is it? It is quite simple from my viewpoint. It means being who you are completely and showing yourself to the world with pride, confidence and no apologies. How many of us are actually able to do that and how many of us don’t feel that we can because of what others will say?
I spent a lot of my earlier years being normal. What I mean by that is that I went to church, I got married and had children. I did all the usual things which were expected of me as a daughter, wife and mother. I thought about what I wanted and who I was but I didn’t act on it and filed it away under ‘Dreams’. Then I got a divorce. My first ex husband is a good man and we are still close friends; we just weren’t right for each other.
I always had a habit of picking up lost strays whether in friendships or more intimate relationships. That’s what happens when you are an empath. I ended up being pretty miserable. I found myself in relationships which weren’t fulfilling, often exhausting and sometimes dangerous to my well-being. I surrounded myself with people I had nothing in common with. The only thing they had collectively in common was their reliance on me, knowing I would be there no matter what they said or did. A big part of me didn’t want that really but that same part of me thought it was what I should be doing and I ought to accept that. Female guilt, bred in, hard to crowbar out.
Then something changed. There was a relationship which I won’t go into but will say left me scarred. It also changed me for the better. It made me realise I was important too and the rest of it had to stop. And stop it did. I had a good look at the people around me and decided I wanted out. I ended friendships which were all take, I got myself out of some difficult family connections and I went it mostly alone with my children.
I spent more time on my spirituality. I meditated. I asked myself what was important to make me feel complete. In essence I spent time on discovering who I am and what I need. I discovered my needs were quite simplistic and didn’t involve money, power or prestige.
These days I embrace nature, herbal remedies and surrounded myself with ideals which made my soul smile. I dance on my own and with others for the heck of it. I show gratitude for what I have every day. I try to live mindfully and see each moment. I find humour and laughter wherever I can. I give myself permission to be me.
Above all, I do my best in every situation and if I fail or make a mistake I accept the lesson and learn from it.
To end the tale I started I can tell you I finally met a man who is perfect for me in every single way and I am blissfully happy and contented with our relationship.
Skip forward many happy years together and I can say I am living my truth –
I am not a victim. I am not a survivor. I am a woman who still does her best but now knows when to give herself permission to quit. I make mistakes, I try and learn from them. I accept I can’t be perfect and my flaws are part of being human. I give myself something to believe in with my spiritual life and I am grateful every day for the loving abundance I have.
I learn, I think, I trust.
And, most importantly of all, I love.